In Memory

I went to a funeral yesterday for Carrie and Kara Johnson, the infant granddaughters of some church members who were born way too early (only about 5 months into the pregnancy) and didn't survive. During the funeral, the pastor talked about how they had gone right from birth to heaven, and how they would have avoided any pain and difficulty here on earth that way.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't find that at all comforting. As a matter of fact, it kind of makes me angry. It stinks that these young girls never got a chance to live, that their parents never got to watch them go to prom, walk down the aisle, hold them as they sobbed over a break-up...

I can't see how I can ethically live my life waiting for heaven. There is too much joy and sorrow to be experienced here on earth. Then he (the pastor) actually said that it was "God's pleasure" to call these young girls home. What the? The God I'm getting to know isn't at all pleased that these young girls died. The God I believe in is sobbing, bawling about this tragedy.

Oh, well. I guess that someone may have found comfort in those words. Personally, I did not. I guess I need to work up some notes just in case I ever have to preside at such a tragic funeral...

Don't get me wrong, I still have great faith in God. But I'm also VERY sad that the world will never get to know those two young girls. I'm heartbroken, and that's going to take some time to heal.

Easter Living

So, I was worried for no real reason. Easter came and went, and was a WONDERFUL day! Everything in the service seemed to flow well and I came out of the day energized to get some things done. I've been quite lax on my reading over the last few weeks, so I "read" an audiobook that my dad lent me the other day. I guess I can get more out of that format that I thought. So, now I have to see if there's anything interesting at our local library that I want to let my ears read.

It's only Wednesday and I've had a sermon draft for almost 24 hours already, been to Springfield twice to visit a congregation member in the hospital and I'm headed out (after a bit) to do some more visiting at the local nursing homes. My desk is fairly clear and I might actually be caught up on all the things I need to do.

I guess that means I need to resurrect my book-writing on the side. Maybe I'll have some good news to report on that in the near future.

Sunday's comin'

...and right now it looks like a train. I don't remember being this behind at Easter-time last year. But for some reason I am this go around. Maybe it's because Easter is so early, because we've had so much ice and snow over the past month, because we almost floated away in the rain the past few days, or because I got a late start to the week taking some kids to the state capital for a Rotary event. Whatever the reason, I feel like I'm WAY behind on getting stuff ready.

Of course, all I really have left to do is to get a couple of short meditations written (planned for tomorrow morning) and let everyone know what's going on. It shouldn't be too big of a deal.

Maybe I'm stressed for no good reason...

I feel strangely better, now. I think I'll clean off my desk a bit and get ready for a push in the morning!

Why do I kid myself?

I have noticed a theme in my blogging. Each time I write one of these here gizmos, I insinuate (or say outright) that I'm going to do so more often. But, I never do. So, I've been musing about that for a few days, weeks, months, whatever... and come to the conclusion that it is the same reason why I start journaling and then never keep it up. I have a hard time writing just for myself anymore.

It wasn't a problem when I was in high school. I would write poetry all the time to express my feelings so I wouldn't implode. So, what changed?

Well, for one, I have more ways of expressing myself now than I did in HS. But, I also think that I don't take the time to do things for myself like I once did. So, that's what I'm going to work on. Doing the things I want and need to do for myself, not worrying if they are important to (or even noticed by) everyone else. They are important for me. And more than that. I'm worth it!